Soul Crusher.

How are you supposed to tell someone you love to stop lying and make things right when you know they've been lying for years and all of a sudden it all makes sense.
How are you supposed to let them know they have the heart and soul of another in the palm of their hands and all that has to be done is let a piece of the string unfold and that person will be crushed for life.
How are you supposed to tell them to make it right when they are in so deep that the 'right' will still hurt someone's heart in unimaginable ways.

What are you supposed to do when you know it's all going to explode and nothing will be able to make it right.
How are you supposed to protect someone and protect yourself at the same time.

How are you meant to do anything? what are you meant to do?

How are you supposed to sit back and do nothing from a different state knowing that this christmas could unravel one of your biggest lies and leave someone i never want to see hurt in complete agony.

I wish i could expose you as the lying piece of filth that you are, although at the same time i love you and long for your care, love and exception of me. And this although i want and need it more than anything sickens me that you have this much imput into my emotions and my being.

I want to be able to hurt your emotions, make you feel like dirt and something that is a burdon on my life like you make us feel. I want you to hate yourself because you're not excepted by the ones that are meant to love you. I want you to be lied to and locked out of our life like you lock us out. I want you to feel the pain that you make us feel when you pile on another one of your lies, just so we can find out once again that you're a disgrace.

I love you but i hate you even more for the pain you cause the ones i love. I know your secrets and betrayals because i've learnt through mistake after mistake that when you pretend to care it's only to fool us into believing your next lie. And congratulations once again it worked, not on me but on the person it will hurt the most, as i've learnt how to hide the pain and not care but this other person has not. I've always been there to shelter them but this time i can't be, and it's killing me.

Sometimes i wonder what happened to you to make you so bitter, who hurt you so much that you don't know how to love but most of the time i pitty you because in the end you'll have no one. Of course we will always be around, we just wont care as much. And that will be when you need it the most after it's all run out and there is none left.

I hope you read this, because you'll know exactly what lie i just uncovered and you will hate yourself.

Lots Of Love,
Pretty Little Bitch Girl
xx 

Fight Kisses

Everytime a fight occurs, even if it's of the littlest degree the only thing i hope my boyfriend will do is kiss me to shut me up and not let me pull away. And finally!!, that's what he did this time.

...And it was fantastic! 

What is it that makes the desire of being wanted when you're angry, mad and upset so intense?

i love you

Fake smiling, pretending to others that you're happy, pretending to yourself that you're happy. Until it suddenly catches up to you and you feel yourself beggining to fall apart.

What are you meant to do? Keep smiling? Deal with it? What if you don't know what you are dealing with. What if you're just a mess?!

Maybe my life has become a routine? Nothing new and exciting, romantic, spontaneous, surprising, fun is happening. It is the same old fun, the same old gestures of passion, love, friendship, everything. It's the same, nothing new.
Perhaps it's all just boredom within life for the moment, maybe it's actual unhappiness.

Although I think it's boredom of the same everything. How do you fix that? what do you do to change it when everyone and thing around you keeps only offering you the same things, the same ways to show they care, they love, they treasure. You only get the same.

My unhappiness affects the people i love (like it has today) and for that i hate myself. ...I'm sorry - i love you always, regardless of my unpleasantness and difficulty to put up with sometimes.
                        ....PS... I treasure you closest to my heart.

This however could be because i am a massive drama queen and sook - possibly everything is fine and i am just overreacting to a bad week..who knows.      ...not me...

Lots Of Love,
Pretty Little Bitch Girl
xx

departure of the bestfriend

So.. my bestfriend is leaving. And i'm devostated!

This one moved up from the place we both grew up to my current home to be with me and enjoy life in the sun. And now almost a year later is leaving, and i can't imagine how i will survive!

..Who will be there to make sure i don't enter the kitchen because a cockroach has taken over..
...Who will have multiple weirdo crushes on men that can entertain me for hours just thinking of 'why?'...
...How will i be lazy and sit at home in my pjs, paint my nails, and think all day of what i will wear that night - that of course we don't end up wearing...
...Who will make me laugh when i could cry...
...Who will stay home on a weekend and drink cups of tea watching tv series and tell everyone else we are busy just to escape it all every now and then...

....Who will alwats be there...
                          WHO?...No one that can do it nearly as well as the bestfriend could.

I am going to MISS HER TERRIBLY! So much so that i could beg her to stay.

Though on the other hand, it is good she is going. For many reasons, some being she is missing her baby brother grow up - and it's a sad thing to miss. She has an awesome job waiting for her that will mean she can afford what she wants when she wants it and splash out on presents for her friend that is missing her back home. :)
There are reasons why her departure is good. But i can't think of many.

The main thing is i don't want her to leave! I will miss her everyday, as this year has been the best year ever!!

I hope she hates it, changes her mind and comes back.

I love you, forever my bestfriend!

Lots Of Love,
Pretty Little Bitch Girl
xx

The Boyfriends Roots.

So my boyfriend was a bit of a tramp before we met (not that i can judge, nor care as it was his past not present/future) and somehow things creep up to linger in my subconscience. Not often, but still often enough.
                  ....And there's nothing i can do about it.
Besides feel lousy.

To give you an example of the times that i ended up feeling like shit about myself (for who knows what reason) ....

A few months ago we were all out at the local pub for our ritual saturday night though my boyfriend was away that week. I got talking with my bestfriend and another girl (who i have become friends with since meeting through the group surrounding my boyfriend) about general girl talk. As we are in the middle of a conversation nothing to do with anything important the girl says '...me and ...boyfriends name.. used to fuck...' thats all i really remember except the fact all the alcohol then rushed to my emotions which didnt help. Luckily my dearest bestie was there to say she needed the bathroom and drag me with her before i could become a mess in front of people. 
                     Two things though;                 
                                                   Why did that have to be brought that up in converstaion and make me pretend i didnt care and that i already knew - as to not be awkward - (which i think i should have already known but didn't)
                                                 And secondly why would i have not known this? why would my boyfriend not have told me?! I hang out with this girl, shouldn't i know you've fucked? But that's ok that i didn't know my mind now can play fun games like 'think of all the depressing reasons why he didn't tell you' - woo fun!

I got over that one pretty fast though. About the time my alcohol wore off.. or a few days later.. i can't quite remember.

But here we go, example number two. And this one sucks!

The other week i met and had drinks with one of my boyfriend and the boys' old friend ..who just to add is younger than me and prettier too!... this girl i'd heard bits about but not much. The main thing i'd heard was she'd slept with one of the boys' ..i'll call him Cody for arguments sake. I'd also heard a rumor she'd slept with my boyfriend and before meeting i asked him 'is she pretty?' He'd responded by telling me not at all (apparently in his opinion) and asked 'have you slept with her?' and he replied to my question with 'Cody slept with her.' this making me as anyone else would do the same take the sleeping question as a no.
So we went out for drinks, ra ra ra.
Then a week-ish later comments on a facebook status breach the topic that yes my boyfriend had fucked her. as the comments went...
                       boyfriend: blablabla...you fucked Cody...blablabla
                                girl: I fucked you too
                      boyfriend: blablabla
As i am left there wondering why my boyfriend indirectly lied to me about it and what does talking about it mean my boyfriend continues his stupid conversation about it. I don't joke with my ex's about how we used to fuck because i don't care so by talking about it on a public place for everyone to see shows what exactly, that you still care? I don't know.
      But i do know avoiding my question before meeting her about the relationship between you guys and telling me it was one of the other boys (though this was true) not you is deffinately not a wise idea for the future!

So that's it.
Ex fucks should your partner know or not? what about if your partner knows the person, should you tell them then?
Cos not telling them i'm sure isn't the best choice to go with.

Lots Of Love,
Pretty Little Bitch Girl
xx

Death by suffocation.

Those stupid people who believe "we're meant to be together" regardless of the fact the other half of the 'we' is sure that you're not. So sure that you wouldn't care if they we're in this universe or not. Yet are forced to stay as 'together forever' or are just there as a  little follower who will one day be with you (possibly again) and you will be 'forever together'.     And these people, these relationships, these scenarios SUCK! .. just to put it simply.

I truly don't understand why you stay with that special (or not so special) person because one of you thinks 'this is it'. Why is it? Is it for comfort and the norm because you're too afraid to hurt that little bit so you just stay forever and end up being the 'forever together couple' that really at the core of it one or even both of you are screaming for out?

But then the ones who are dragging you down because you're there true love, their life's only complete when you are on their arm. YOU GUYS ARE PATHETIC! no offence..

Why do people feel content with life when it's through manipulation, guilt, dishonesty in lies and betrayal or force that the people around you are staying? Or not even staying, you're just following. How are you happy within? How are you smiling on the inside as well as the outside?

Some people dazzel me with their profound ways at life and their ability to be happy whilst dragging someone down to achieve it.

You people deep down are horrible, and in my eyes you're a waste of space. Because all you do is slowly kill someone else - regardless if that other person seems to care or recognise that you are suffocating them to their death you are still horrible.

Lots Of Love,
Pretty Little Bitch Girl
xx

romantic sex or romantic snuggle.

As i was sitting home watching crap on tv over dinner with my love i decide 'hey, maybe i could be romantic tommorow night and surprise my boyfriend' because he is always doing sweet stuff for me.
So that's what i attempted the following night, and here's how it went..

It was 7pm after i got home and had finished dinner, he would be home at 8. Perfect i had one hour. I moved all the shit and clutter away and put it where it belongs and noticed how it actually looks nice and huge when it's clean, who would have thought! I showered put on sexy lingure and covered the whole room with candles. It looked beautiful. We had strawberries in champagne downstairns plus an extra bottle of champagne too :) ! I was excited..and i looked pretty good, well at least i thought.

8pm when he arrives home. We go upstairs so he can put his stuff away, possibly play his xbox, but i knew that was not what i'd planned for the cards that evening.

He opens the bedroom door and there is our bedroom looking beautifully romantic.

Though.. my night then went off course..

I like to snuggle when we go to bed. So my boyfriend thought he would give me what i wanted and want to snuggle. This putting a downer on my night as 'sweetie i love to snuggle, but no that is not what i planned tonight!'

Though after an awkward moment of him trying to snuggle to give me what i normally want and me seducing him i finally got it through his head that hey, tonight it's not about the snuggling. Then we got our strawberries and champagne and the night that I'd originally planned.

So what is it, is a planned night romantic only when it ends in sex or when plans are changed and it ends in snuggles (that are normally cute and romantic whilst watching a movie in bed) with a room full of candles still romantic or does it lose it's point of a romantic suprise?

Lots Of Love,
Pretty Little Bitch Girl
xx

Nothing Over $22 or Everything Over $200?

What is actually better? Are the expensive shops better than the cheaper shops?...In all cases?

There's this to die for gorgeous throw over top, that really just completes you. It is exactly your style, your colour, your everything. But it's $89 from the nice boutique store that looks although it is all thats happening. As you ponder over purchasing this fab piece of clothing for the same as your weekly rent share you peruse the other shops in the street. And fancy that! It's the same top from a nice cheaper store just down the road. It's only $20. Which one is better? Are the fabrics, stitchings and everything else of better quality when you buy from the boutique shop or is there mark up just greedy?

I don't know! But I go for the one that costs the same as lunch rather than rent.

The town i currently live in sucks on the shopping side, until a few months back where a new little store called 'Nothing Over $22' opened.
As an example of this, a friend of mine, who is extremely short on cash every week (without splashing out on anything - ever!) recently bought a necklace from a highly overpriced store for $150!!! really a necklace for one hundred and fifty dollars!! where are your brains! Without even looking at other stores around. Like two doors up is the nothing over $22 store that has practically the exact same necklace for i dono.. $22 or less. WOULD THAT NOT BE SMARTER? To purchase the cheap one from a nice store with everything the other store has for just a fraction of the cost.

People are silly with their money. They are stupid in fact.

But my thought is.. even if something is cheaper and possible not as good yet still does the job and you can't actually tell the difference at all what-so-ever why do people buy the expensive stuff? Is it just to brag and show off, are some people really that vain and deluded?

I'm glad I'm not like that as i can get my necklace and still afford cocktails with the girls after, rather than 2-minute noodles until next pay day.

Lots Of Love,
Pretty Little Bitch Girl
xx

I'm not yours.

There are these 'types' of people around us who.. in my words.. are annoyingly possessive, controlling, subliminaly trying to destroy good things that you have(with their constant in your face approach or stupid suggestions), and think that you are 'theirs', guilt you, and all sorts of stuff like this.

These people are wrong, we are not yours! and in fact if you want even a smidgen of me, i advise you to back off.. because sweetheart, soon i wont just not be 'yours', i wont be your anything. You are smothering me, you are holding the pillow over my head so that i can't breath.. and we all know loss of oxygen results in death.

But don't get me wrong. I LOVE YOU TO DEATH, you're just rushing things into the wrong direction at a high speed pace. But the thing is, no matter how i try to show you or tell you this, you don't want to take it on board, you listen but you don't hear what i am saying.
                            And what i am saying is don't ruin what we have. Because i like us.

Although if you are trying to ruin us and what we have, congratulations. You're doing an amazing job.

I will never be the 'property' of you. Please try and remember that, trust me it will do us both good. I am my property and that is final. You don't get a say!

So.. i sound harsh so i will remind you, I LOVE YOU!!!! i just don't want to love you when you're making us like this. We don't know what will happen in a month from now, 2 months or even 6 years. What i do know is i want nothing more than you to be apart of my life. So please stop jeopradising that possibility.

And this, it could be anyone in your life, a boyfriend/girlfriend, family member, friend, anyone. And by saying this it may not mean it's the most likely candidate who will be the one to do this. But for your sake i hope you don't have a person who is like this at the moment, because it would suck to be you if you did.

Lots Of Love,
Pretty Little Bitch Girl
xx

I love you, dont I?

Do you actually love the ones who love you, or do you love them because they love you?
Do you love the ones you're ment to because they are amazing or because you have to put up with them?
Do you love beacuse you want to be loved or because you love them regardless if they love you as you can see their beauty, inner and out and perceive them as 'perfet'?
Do we love because we are ment to or because we genuinely love?

Can you love someone without actually liking their 'person'? I know people who are like this and believe that you can. But i think they are wrong. I think if you love someone but don't like them, the truth is you just don't want to be alone so you settle with whatever is easiest and has the least effort and possibilities of heartache, and in your own twisted way make yourself believe it is love not just desperation.

Is love real? Or is it what we have made it with our guidlines of what love actually is? Possibly we have told ourselves what love is and should be like rather than allow it to be whatever it is, come in different forms, shapes and sizes rather than be a constricted box that everything outside simply is not good enough to be classified as 'love' heedless of if it is or isn't.
Has our generalisation in a discription of how love is ruined it for some people, some circumstances?

Lots Of Love,
Pretty Little Bitch Girl
xx

The silly questioning thoughts.

So recently my head has been full of silly questions that i cannot seem to answer.. so, i shall share them :)

How do you know if you are happy? But how do you know if you are not? I mean people smile and seem happy even when they're not, right. And people look upset and miserable when also perhaps they are just distracted by something, not necessarily unhappiness.

Do statistics of other peoples efforts really mean anything? I have a friend who recently has had a lot to say about the enormous possibility of relationship failure. Apparently the stats are 98% of young relationships fail and ONLY 2% are the happily ever after fairytales we all want. Does this mean because the majority of people and relationships fall into the 98% i will? Or could i be the exception despite the odds?

When somebody says forever do they mean 'for ever' or 'for ever at the moment'. How can you possibly tell. How does someone know what they will want in 2 months from now, 5 years from now, let alone in atleast 25 years from now. Although possibly because i am extremely hipocritical at this very moment about this topic i believe i know what i want.. But still, how on earth does anybody else!? I mean forever is a long time, how can someone possibly know what they will want. So really does forever mean 'for ever' or 'for ever at the moment'? This doesn't even have to do with anything in particular it could be...
         - pink will be my favourite colour forever.
         - i will love you forever
         - i want to be with you forever
         - i want pizza once a month forever
See nothing serious or something serious, how does anyone really know? I'm sure i don't really know i only think i do (though I'm pretty incredibly certain!!). But how do you actually know? And because no one really does know what they will want for ever, can you make promises or plans if at one stage your 'for ever' could go back to have ment 'for ever from that moment earlier in time'.

Do people ever actually get their dream house, job, husband or wife, children, financial status.. does it ever actually happen? Or do your standards, dreams and desires change to accomodate what you can actually get? How long do you have to wait to get what you really want?..Because the time waiting feels like a lifetime. Regardless of what you are waiting for at the current moment.

Though enough rambling.. As i am an expert and could go on for days.

Lots Of Love,
Pretty Little Bitch Girl
xx

Relationship vs 'Sex-ationship'

What is better the relationship with everything or the 'sex-ationship' with just the casual rooting around, no strings attached?

A 'sex-ationship' well sounds good in theory. Not having to pretend you care if you don't, not needing to spend your time together, no meeting family or friends and playing nice, no dates, just sex, with the only rule being 'No strings attached'. Yet don't we all know 'no strings attached' means we will pretend that there is no feeling, but at least one of us will most likely be hurt at one stage when they confuse or mix their emotions with plain emotionless sex.

And then there is the relationship. The spending quality time together, going on dates, meeting families, actually caring, being there for the plain out shit times but also there for the good. Plus of course, the sex is there aswell just with meaning and emotion behind it.

Which is better? I much prefer the relationship, though i'm sure not everyone is on the same side as me.

But here is my actual question and thought..
If you can have a relationship without sex can you have sex without a relationship?

Though who said anything about a relationship without sex anyhow..

Lots Of Love,
Pretty Little Bitch Girl
xx

The L Word.

The L word, the scary, meaningful, big word that means so much yet is only four letters long.

So last Tuesday my boyfriend took that step of a relationship and said the L word. This to me was enormous. It means despite that i thought he did i now actually know he does, he loves me. And that is the most amazingly happy, greatful and gorgeous feeling in the entire world.

The moment the words leave his lips everytime he tells me my heart is instantly filled with happiness.

This guy is the one i want to be with forever, and i am the one he wants. There is nothing that could be more perfect. Because i love him back at the moment and as each day passes i only love him more.

But here's the thing to watch out for.. (though i know this is not my case at the moment, i will just explain it to you for your benefit) the ones who say they love you because really they do love you, they love the fact that when they say those three prescious words you're theirs you drop to the ground in happiness, you sleep with them because hey, why not, they love you. These people i have had too much contact with, yet really i haven't had that much. But even being told your loved once when really your not is once too many.

Then there are the other types of love and people that i completely cannot understand. They are the ones who love you, and generally do but still want other people so hurt you and then think that once they realise its better to be with the one they love instead of love them but be with many others they want you back. But when you realise being with someone because they love you in their own messed up way is not what you want or deserve is no way to live when you could easily be with the someone who loves you and treats you right the person gets hurt, begs for you back, tells you all about how you're breaking their heart and as you continue not going back to the disfunctional love relationship because, who ever you are, you are better than that, the person decides they no longer love you, they hate you. Instantly their love is hate. How is it possibly for one to love you one minute and hate you the next? My personal opinion is it's not. They may love you but it's twisted and not how you deserve to be loved. These people are ass' if you go back to them then believe me you are a fool!

Now that my charming speel is done, i only have one more thing to say.

I am so glad i am not in a twisted disfunctional messed relationship, mine is perfect. And i love my boyfriend unonditionally no matter what, to me he is perfect. And that is what i think love is.

Lots Of Love,
Pretty Little Bitch Girl
xx 

The Good, The Bad, And Everything In Between..

I live in a tiny little town in a beautiful paradise, It has many reasons that make me never want to leave but many that make me want to escape.

Three weeks ago i wanted to leave. The small town crap of rumors, judgement and no privacy within your own life finally caught up to me. This is the bad. And there is no escape from it. The moment you realise in yourself that other people whom aren't important in your life don't matter and their shit that they bring into your life is just petty nonesence, and if you just brush it off like a leaf that has fallen on a chair you will be ok but if you let it bother you you will never be happy. Though this is way harder than it sounds. I still have many moments of mini breakdowns every few months or so because of the crap a small town paradise brings. Though my hatered only lasts a day or two and then i see it for its delight, like i do now and most of the time.

And this week it's my gorgeous boyfriends time of hate towards this small towns sillyness.

But the good is oh so good. It's beautiful here everyday. I have climatised that when it gets down to mid 20s i am cold and get out my cardi and doona..pathetic i know. The beach is across the road from my house, this is amazing. I will never be able to live away from the beach, it is too incredible and to me living near the beach is home, wherever i may be. The people (generally) are friendly, because you don't want to get off on the wrong side in a small town where everyone knows everyone and everything.

I don't know how long i want to stay here, I know i don't want to leave just yet. Though i will if it's whats needed for my boyfriend but i really hope that it's not.

This place may be shit and not what i want sometimes but regardless of that it is everything I want in my paradise i currently call home.

So my advice to you all, small towns aren't as bad as you think. Give them a shot, i did dispite my fear and hatered of them i quickly found it for its beauty.. I guess it's kinda like people. If you put down your armor and stop thinking what you know you may find out what you actually want, need and like. And this may be your blessing in disguise.

Lots Of Love,
Pretty Little Bitch Girl
xx 

Happy Wife, Happy Life,

The things i really don't understand that this so called male race do as lifestlye normalities..

I mean do you really need to leave the toilet seat up all the time? Yes we get it, you can stand. But you don't need to constantly remind us of this everytime we enter the bathroom and are faced with the upright toilet seat. Work your arm muscles just that tiny bit and flick the lid down every once in a while.

Is it a necessity that you leave all your clothes on the floor regardless if they are clean or not so that they all have to be re-washed because you also left your wet smelly shower towl with them..I know you love mold and the grossness of it all, but really for the ones who do all your washing it isn't as charming as you think.

Are you positive you don't just want to romantically watch the notebook or movies as such with me? Are you really sure?? Because i'm sure if you put down your "I'm not watching that crap" act you would actually enjoy it, well..at least a little bit.

Roses are nice by the way, just adding that in there in case you all forgot.

Do boys nights always have to have some form of drama. You all think the girls have drama, but spending the night bitching about crap isn't drama in comparisson to getting faces smashed in, dissapointing people or almost sleeping with the married cougars.

Oh hey, yes you should have your fourth cup of coffee out of a different cup. What a brilliant idea! But if you decide to spice it up a bit and use only one cup and wash it in between instead of leaving it for your adoring other half to wash you could bring all your empty water bottles and fill them back up and pack into the fridge so once again the household can have water.. But of course don't do it all at once, you wouldn't want to kill us of culture shock now would you.

Before i forget, I'll just share a valuable secret with you all..
The bath mat is neatly spread out infront of the shower/bath for a reason! So if you drench it with water the way to make it back to normal is to hang it out and pick it up off its scrunched up pile on the floor. Though it will remain a mystery how it got like that after only standing on it...

But all in all, although you are an extremely strange bunch. I wouldn't want it any other way.. most of the time.

But I'm sure it couldn't hurt to give one of these a try every once in a while.. As my uncle always says, happy wife, happy life. And i'm sure for a happy wife he must throw one of these ideas in the air on the odd special occasion.

Lots Of Love,
Pretty Little Bitch Girl
xx 

My morning, Your night.

So a rant about me..

My boyfriend works on the mines, so he is not here all the time. This means for half of his shift that he is away i say good morning he says good night. It means i don't get to talk to him when i want to as he is tired from working and therefore asleep, working or i am asleep or working. It means i'm alone when he is away, not literally as i have my amazing friends around yet i still feel alone. All in all it kinda sucks.

Yet when he is away i realise how much i appreciate and care for him, which makes it all that better when he gets back.

But really, i don't even know how to explain how i miss him when he is gone or how truly happy i am when he is home.

Anyhow, I've had enough of a rant about me, my message to leave you with is.. When you find someone who makes you happy at the sight or thought of them, someone who is the first and last thing you think about each day, someone who you wouldn't want to be without, someone who means more to you than anything else, keep them. Don't let them go.

Lots Of Love,
      Pretty Little Bitch Girl
                        xx 

The Couch Sleeping

Sleeping on the couch.. Possibly the worst thing ever! No one really wants to have that fight that ends in one of the parties having to take their pillow and the spare blanket and sleep alone on the couch.

Well the other day me and my boyfriend came back from a holiday and arrived home at 2am ish, hence i was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to sleep although my boyfriend was playing xbox on the bedroom tv from when we arrived home until 5am when i finally cracked the shits a little. I went to grab the doona and my pillow and head downstairs to sleep on the couch (neither of us having to have done this before within our relationship). Whilst i grabbed my sleeping stuff i continually repeated "No sweetie, i don't mind, continue to play your games. I'll sleep on the couch. It's fine." But really i was pissed. Luckily the idea of me sleeping on the couch made him feel bad and turn off his games and come to bed with me. This being an extremely wise decision on his behalf as i although was saying i wouldn't have cared i would have been feral with grumpyness and annoyance at him the next day.

So a tiny bit of advice, If your significant other says it's ok they will sleep on the couch whilst you play xbox or any other kinda game of similar type that keeps them awake whilst they try to sleep, don't let them sleep on the couch because although they say it will be ok, it really wont.

And to the people that fight with their other half leaving one of you to end up sleeping on the couch, i feel sorry for you. It must suck. Yet in other aspects i am so glad me and my boyfriend aren't one of the couples like you. Possibly see a councellor?

Lots Of Love,
      Pretty Little Bitch Girl
                        xx

Convincing Your Emotions.

Convincing yourself you're not in love when you know you are. We all do this. You may be in denial that you do in fact go through this, although deep down, you're secretly aware you do.

This not just being about love this being convincing yourself you're happy when you're not, you're healthy or right when you're not, or you're ugly when of course you are beautiful, if not to everybody, at least to somebody.

People perhaps do this to hide their feelings from themselves, despite the fact it is silly, a waste of time and just a way of attempting to convince yourself that you're not who you are. When in the long run, it doesn't work anyway.

You may be able to fool yourself for a brief moment or two but really, who are you fooling? who are you pretending to be? what are you pretending to be? what are you trying to turn yourself into? who are you trying to turn yourself into? I'm sure your answer there is someone you're not. So really it's a bit silly and kinda makes you all in all a retard.

My wisdom that i shall pass to you is: Be who you want to be. If not to the world right away, at least to yourself and the ones who care about you the most. Because you don't want to have your dream "person" fall in love with you for a 'fake' you.

Lots Of Love,
      Pretty Little Bitch Girl
                        xx

Expressing emotions

The truth is: telling someone how you feel and allowing yourself to be vulnerable to them is a big step. It's something that can either go in an extreme positive direction or can diminish your self esteem and your 'person' by going in a negative path.

But isn't it worth the risk? I mean, what is the point of holding back in fear of regection, fear of allowing yourself to be happy, fear of giving someone such an amount of power, fear of sounding like a fool, fear of smothering someone, fear of anything. What is the point to withhold your emotion which is part of who you are just for a reason such as fear? Especially as your withholding it from someone you want to share everything with.

I risk it. If it's true and how i feel i find there's no need to be scared. Because the person you feel this way about is worth it and is worth being told someone cares, as if they weren't worth it, you wouldn't feel the way you do about them anyway. So it justifies itself.

Personally i would much rather take the risk and hope not to fall than leave it there and say nothing but always wonder what would or could have happened if you'd taken the risk rather than been to scared to fall.

But thats just my opinion. I could be wrong, though i doubt i am.

So my advice that comes along is.. Let the people you care about know you appreciate them and care too, before someone else comes along who shows them they are valued.

Lots Of Love,
      Pretty Little Bitch Girl
                        xx

Handle my worst, Deserve my best.

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe.

This sums it up pretty much completely.

Just thought i'd put it out there to you all.. If you can't handle your lovely tresured person at their worst, there is no way you deserve their best!

It's funny how when you meet someone, you always try to look good, you're generally not covered in make up from the night before, un-showered, hungover or just generally looking disgusting. And because you don't meet people like this, you generally begin to like the person faster than if you met them whilst they looked like a hobo sitting in the middle of trash.

My boyfriend met me the first i don't know..bagillion times whilst i looked like a hobo sitting in trash. This being surprising as he still took the time to know me and decided to possibly even like me.
So the other night, this topic was brought up whilst in bed, i commented on how i looked crap the first 50 times my boyfriend saw me and to make me feel better my boyfriend said back, "yeah i know, you really did look very crap some of those times" this of course was muchly appreciated.

Although the moral of this is.. If you're loved one doesn't or can't handle you at your worst they definately don't deserve you at your best. Where as my beloved definately deserves me at my best, and most likely deserves a medal aswell. And to all the ones out there who handle the worsts in the same fashion as my boyfriend, on behalf of your partner, you are amazing.

Lots Of Love,
      Pretty Little Bitch Girl
                        xx

The Admitting of Feelings.

Everybody has the same issue, well this is what i find. Who is supposed to say how they feel first? Because i know in my case i wouldn't want to be the one to say anything big first incase it's not said back, yet wouldn't this be exactly what the other party is worried of too?

I recently (whilst drunk but reiterated it again in the morning as my partner asked me to do whilst i was drunk babbeling) told my partner more of how i felt. possibly in the most childish wording ever, but nevertheless i took a step and said how i felt. This being
                                                       "I think i like you more than like'
Which in my case, this is very true. Yet although i said this in a childish like term it doesn't make it any less real or big of a deal.

Although, the thing is, i feel stupid for saying it. The fact that i was drunk would have been a good excuse to have left it at that but because i was asked to tell my partner again whilst sober because he said i would be surprised (not knowing at all of what), i did. This possibly being a mistake of sorts, as i now feel like a moron as my amazing boyfriend let me tell him again that "i think i like you more than like" although only had aww an extremely tight hug and a million kisses to say as a reply.

But here is the thing.. I wasn't expecting him to say anything in return nor am i upset or anything that he didn't as his reaction was more than enough, i still for some unknown reason feel like a tard.

Though as my beautiful boyfriend made sure to tell me was not to feel stupid of apologise for saying my feelings. This being comforting to hear, yet the situation on my behalf is still left with me being the one who said their feelings first and resulted in feeling like an epic fool. This being something i am not so glad about.

Lucky that i like my man too much to care about being the one to say a childish expression of feelings first.

Lots Of Love,
      Pretty Little Bitch Girl
                        xx

The impossibility of sexily unskinny-ing.

This issue is one that occurs far too many times seeing as it is really very unattractive. If you can remove your skinny jeans sexily, i congratulate you emensly.

The impossibility of removing skinny jeans sexily. We all know it's impossible, yet it is still tried to be pulled off as sexy, and in these attemps the words 'fail' and 'miserably' come to mind.

Anyhow, i just thought i would share with you all, stop trying to make your removal of your skinnys look sexy becuase you just look like some form of retarded animal..and if you are one who succeeds at removing them in a sexy fashion then well, i hate you.

 Lots Of Love,
      Pretty Little Bitch Girl
                        xx

The Bitch Girlfriend

So may i say just to start off... No amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity!

There's always that friend you love dearly and is amazing who goes off and gets a girlfriend who makes them change.. Possibly not on purpose but sometimes it is intentional.

Well i have this friend, who is incredible and has a girlfriend who is lovely aswell although makes this friend completely different. Makes the friend ignore his other female friends, distance himself and generally be a complete jerk until he has said goodbye to her for the day.

This is only a short but sweet message.. Your Girlfriend makes you act like an ass, stop it! We were here first and will still be here when your miss' is not. And to the girlfriend, there is nothing against you, but trust, we love your boyfriend but would never try to take him from you as if we wanted that we would have succeeded already.

 Oh and P.S.
The whole changing someone to make them suit you is pathetic.

Lots Of Love,
      Pretty Little Bitch Girl
                        xx

Relationship Boundaries.

There is this saying that has been around for oh so long and it goes along the lines of 'No boundaries, no relationship'. And i had always seen how this statement had made sense... until i began to think about it and look upon my own life.

The boundaries of a relationship being the bringing of all your shit. First it starts by in most scenarios the lady friend of the couple bringing overnight clothes to their partners place to keep in a draw, a spare toothbrush, and silly little pieces of crap like that. And this in most cases scares the hell out of the charming male...who probably has commitment issues - so be careful - or you're just too clingy too fast... So this bringing of shit becomes a problem as it sends your partner thoughts to run for the hills as of course, leaving a spare toothbrush at your partners means you clearly are dropping the hints for marriage (You guys are all retarded by the way.. as i'm sure a toothbrush isn't the same as a diamond ring catalogue left on the bench, it is most likey so they can have fresh breath.. but who know's who is right - it shall remain a mystery).

So as i was saying.. Maybe it isn't so freaky when the other half of your relationship leaves their toothbrush at your place, puts clothes on the shelves.. maybe it's possibly a good thing, and maybe the idea of having these boundaries is stupid as i didn't/don't have these boundaries and nothing seems to be showing the statement as true, for this scenario is 'no boundaries, yes relationship'

Maybe it's just me or maybe you should look at the pro's of having that extra toothbrush and a little less room for yourself in the closet, as i quite fancy it with the little less room, and you probably will too.

Lots Of Love,
      Pretty Little Bitch Girl
                        xx

That hurtful person.

There's always one person who hurts you continuously, whether it be a lover, family member or friend, it's a person who although puts you through tears, pain, lonesom, self-hatred and many more of these lovely emotions and stages you love regardless with a neverending supply of it.

It's a person you want to love you, so you try everything. Try to impress them with knowledge, experiences, everything you possibly can show off to them to make them appreciate you and love you in the way you want.

This person can be the harshest person in the world to you and destroy parts of you, yet all you still want is them to care.

I have a person in my life like this, and let me say although at times i hated them, wished they weren't in my life and that i never knew them amoungst it all i secretly wanted nothing but them to care and cherish me the way i'd hoped, wanted and possibly needed.

So to all you bastard people who without realising you are crushing someone, either a little girls heart, a partner, sibling or friend, wake up, see what you are doing and change it before it's too late and you regret how your relationship between the other person has become.

Luckily for me my person woke up after a wake up call that was life changing to them as they realised what they had let go and had to fight to get back in their life.

So really, make sure your person you seek love and care from is worth it, and in the end i hope for you all they find you worth it to.

Lots Of Love,
      Pretty Little Bitch Girl
                        xx

The Name Tramp.

The bitch who screams the wrong name! what can i say besides..skank!

But really how shit must that be for the other party, i mean think about it.. You're really into this one, you really like them then bam they slap you in the face by calling you someone else because, well clearly they couldn't be thinking of you as you make them scream, cos honestly, you're just not that good.

So my amazing trashbag of a friend, who might i add i love to pieces and would die without, managed to call her current toyboy by the wrong name..whilst in bed. The name she called him was the name of a previous fling, one of whom the new toyboy has previously expressed jealousy of.

It's the one rule, the only rule. Don't scream the wrong name as you climax, as it doesn't make for the ending that you really want.

So my message to all you trampy ladies who confuse the names of your toys, make a list. It's easier that way. And to the ladies who like their toy abit too much, don't do it again as hurting the toy you're begining to fall for once is enough.

Lots Of Love,
      Pretty Little Bitch Girl
                        xx

The Boy With Charm

 The boy with charm, the one who knows exactly what to say and when to say it, the one who makes you feel special whether (to him) you are or not, the one who gets all the girls, the one who you cant help but fall for.

These boys are a enchanting group of people, they are the ones you fall for..even if you try not to. They are the ones who slide into your life with their charming ways before you even know it, and without realising it they become what you want.

They are the ones who at times act too good to be true as they make you feel like you're one in a million. They call you beautiful instead of hot, kiss you on your hand, hug you from the waist, they make sure you notice that they noticed when you weren't there, they treat you the nicest you've ever been treated and of course captivate you with their amazing eyes and smile.

But might i add, there are a lot of charmers out there, but not all are real. Make sure you find your real charmer not just an imitation jerk because he'll either make you fall for him so he can catch you or make you fall for him so he can watch you break.

So let me leave you with one little thing, whether it be of goodness or of bad...
                                        There's nothing more dangerous than a boy with charm. 

Lots Of Love,
      Pretty Little Bitch Girl
                        xx

The Girls Hotness Scale Trick.

So there is this theory that although sounds and seems quite sexest i think is a pretty good topic to explore.

So the male race have come upon a trick that girls (not every girl but apparently a fair few) use to appear more attractive. I think it is quite, although mean and vain, a good idea.

The newly discovered trick (that i wish i knew before making my incredible friends that i have now who are goregous so can't do anything in help of this trick) is for a girl to surround herself with less attractive friends. This taking the girl on a man-judged scale from a 4 to an 8. As a moderately attractive girl will look moderately attractive by herself, but if she is surrounded by only minimally attractive girls will look like an a very attractive girl, this being by comparison.

I began to think about this so called trick more and more, so i decided to ask the opinions of some of my darling male's opinions. They all said that they see it all the time and were shocked i was only just noticing it. So i went out on search for people like this.. and when i actually looked, there were many many groups of people like this just floating around out there. But what got me thinking was a comment one of the guys had said, this comment being '...and some girls even get friends only to make themselves look hotter, they search for uglier people.' This however puzzles me as could someone actually truly be that selfish and vain to only choose their friends on looks in order to make themselves look better.

So my final message is.. If you are a friend that chooses your friends this way, you are a bitch and i sincerely hope you are actually the ugly one in your group.

Lots Of Love,
      Pretty Little Bitch Girl
                        xx

The Epic Drunk Sex.

So i have this friend, and according to her...

Everytime her and her Mr do the deed whilst drunk epic sex is evident. And by saying epic i mean screaming so loud the neighbours mention it in joke the next time they see you.

She informs me that a screaming orgasm is not just a myth! and this i'm quite sure would be a bonus.

My friend tells me that it's the only time your partner is willingly going to wait for you, so by that it must be pretty amazing.

So this friend of mine was sharing the trashy details of her sexual life and through discussion a story came about. This story took place in a hotel. The story goes along the lines of the lovely couple who spent the night in a hotel, which the girlfriend was quite impressed and happy about. After a night out and a few cosmo's the couple finally went to bed. This is where the real story begins.

As the night went on crazy bed sex was had, this apparently involving lots of extremely loud screaming and moaning..and then the couple took their dirty deed to the balcony. This being a good idea, yet possibly stupid as well as the the screaming from the balcony began to echo and then the sight of rooms on the opposite side of the hotel balcony lights turn on from multiple different rooms, and then to make it even more dramatic the neighbouring hotel stayer comes out onto his balcony to see what all the noise is about. ... This was when the couple took it inside to finish what they had started, witch was epic epic sex.

The next morning as the boyfriend of this lovely couple was having a shower the girlfriend whilst lying on the bed could hear general conversations from the neighbouring (even closer neighbouring than the man who came out onto the balcony next door) hotel suits. This is when the 'oh my god' thought of how loud were we last night comes to the minds of the couple.

But all in all who really cares, the night, the sex, the everything was epically perfect.

Lots Of Love,
      Pretty Little Bitch Girl
                        xx

The Drunken Feelings Speech.

Is the classical drunken feelings speech something horrible and regrettable or may it possible be all not so bad?

The drunken speech you give to someone whether they be your partner, friend or anyone is the speech of your effections, this being how much you admire, despise, adore or like someone. This speech is a sloppy repetative one that is often just extremely embarrassing as you sound like a fool. Although hopefully no one tells you this, because trust me i know that the speech giver, if they remember will for sure be feeling like a bit of a retard and will be hoping like hell that the receiver of the speech has no memory of it.. Which generally they remember it all.. This of course being pure 'luck'.

For example.. The other night i was the incredibly smashed treasure to give a drunken speech, which might i add was a horrendously huge ramble of a speech at that. I gave my little form of communication to my boyfriend of how much i adore and like him. The entire time i spoke, which apparently went for at least an hour, it consisted of crap along the lines of...
         'I epically like you' (because epically is now clearly a form and amount for the endearment of someone)
         'I'm so happy you live here too' (this one i bantered on about for a fair amount of time)
         'I really really like you, did you know that...but really. (this one probably being the worst of them all)

So in my drunken rambling i managed to put the opportunity of two things into the head of the amazing boyfriend of mine and leave them there for him to decide how to react to. These two possible scenarios being:
   1.     wow totally not expecting her to like me as she has now just drunkenly admitted too, then say crap as he runs for the hills
or
   2.     be fine with what the drunken mess of a girlfriend has just said and be somewhat delighted and happy that she has admitted to feeling this way.

In my case, thankfully it went towards scenario 2. Which might i add i am quite greatful for as i was hoping he wouldn't pack up his bags and run after my so called drunken feelings speech. 

Although not all of the drunken speech givers are this lucky to have there next morning go according to scenario 2 and not wake up to their partner climbing out the window with their precious belongings.

So here is my advice.. Don't drunken speech your boyfriend unless he is as remarkable as mine, and if he is..you're very lucky, whether you think so or not.

Lots Of Love,
      Pretty Little Bitch Girl
                        xx

Lust with a Loser.

This little read will tell you all about that one special person who you think is the one..until you realise they really aren't and you see your friends judgements of them becoming true, whether the judgements be they are a piece of shit or just a general low life asshole.

The one who you totally fell lustful for, the one who despite the way they treated you you thought they were amazingly nice and kind...even though this in reality wasn't the case. The one you made excusses in your mind for, excusses to your friends and even excusses to yourself. These excusses are the types that go along the lines of...
                     'It's how he shows he cares.'
                     'He didn't mean it.'
                     'I love him so it doesn't matter.'
                     'But i know he loves me.'
                    'He's not always like this, it's just the moment.'

If you say excusses like this to anyone, including yourself, you are wasting your time on a prick!! Stop your stupid lustful desires and get over the moron!

But here is the hard thing.. You really do think you care for them, until they do that one thing that makes you realise you don't. It makes you realise you don't deserve what they give. The problem with this is it could be a month into your relationship, 6 months, a year or even longer.

A way of seeing that really they are not the best idea for you is, for example when the song 'mean' by Taylor Swift is played it reminds you of them (even when you're still together)! If you have something like this, although it is amusing the jokes you make to your friends about having such a type of song like this to remind you of your loser whom you lust/lusted..it really should be a sign that its not right.

I'm not saying that it's all bad, cos a lot of it is nice, fun and what you want at the time.. It's only once you leave it or get hurt that badly that you realise you didn't want it at all.

But in my case, i was lucky. I left my lust with a loser and now have something much much better.  <3  :)

Lots Of Love,
      Pretty Little Bitch Girl
                        xx

The Platonic Possibility

So as everyone, i have one of those amazing people who i love dearly who is just the friend, but the one who could always quite easily slip into the position of something more. My friend has been a past, but i don't intend on having him as a future. He is the kind of friend who will go to that auntie's brother-in-laws wedding with you, comfort you when you are a mess, give advice on the other potential partners in your life, never think anyone is ever good enough. They are the one you always have fun with, the one who will never let you down.

These people are amazing. Don't let them out of your life, ever! And if you make the mistake of doing this i suggest you beg at their feet everyday for them to rekindle themselves into your adventurous life that seems dull without them, and if you don't beg for them back and stay stubborn you are a waste of space and truly a stupid human being.

I wouldn't change my friend for anyone in the entire world! This friend has seen every side of me, this including the disgustingly horrible early morning me, the trashy can barely stand me, the housewife dinner cooking laundry cleaning me, and the plain normal exciting me. And these people love you throughout them all. These people are true treasures to the world.

The pain about these people although is.. New lovers get extremely jealous when you hang out with your platonic friend. And It Is one of the most annoying things as all you really want is to freely be uncomplicated with both your new lover and your old platonic friend.    ... There is also the jealousy of the platonic friend towards the new lover, the doubt they have towards how long this new love will be around and these questions although ones we all need to face aren't really what we want to be thinking about when we have a new partner on the scene.

These friends are the ones you have to literaly convince both your friends and families that nothing is going on.. Well at the times where nothing is going on.

The worst part of having the platonic possibility friend is the other partners. I on many occasions have had to define and swear on my life my platonic possibility is and is only a friend, this is not so hard to do. As on the other hand, convincing your platonic possibilities partner that you are not in-love with your friend and that there is nothing happening is the hardest thing to do. Especially as you are never believed by your platonic possibilities partner. But to think about it would you really believe that flirtatious friend who is all over your partner when they say that there is nothing going on and that nothing will go on..?!

So as my final message to all those platonic possibilities, we all love you. You are amazing, we would die without you in our lives, without you i don't know how i could have survived all those stupid Ex's, stupid friends and plain old stupid drama, so for that i thank you.

Lots Of Love,
      Pretty Little Bitch Girl
                        xx

The Coffee Shop Hottie

Who can resist the coffee shop hottie?! The extremely gorgeous flirtatious one who makes coffee and is the perfect eye candy while you drink that amazing dose of caffine. How could anyone in their right mind not fluster over the coffee shop hottie?!

In my lifetime there have been a lot of coffee shops and even more coffee shop hotties. But there is always that one place that continuously has outstandingly dreamy staff. And these places you never want to leave, you have coffee at multiple times a day just to peruse its beauty.

The simplicity of it is something i find humerous but comforting as they don't know who you are, but they admire you just as much as you like to simply check out what they have on their "menu".

My favourite coffee shop is a little charming place in which i regularly visit multiple times a day with friends when i get the opportunity, which lately isn't very often at all, possibly only a few months of every year. This place is adorable. It also quite often has many many Isralie beauties who work there, one of the reasons it is such a hit between me and my beloved friends. I suggest everyone has a coffee shop like this, they are truly one of the most important aspects and needs in life.

So in short, just a little suggestion to you all. Find your coffee place with a perve worthy hottie to spend your days at.

Lots Of Love,
       Pretty Little Bitch Girl
                          xx

The Disobedient Friend

We all have that friend who is obsessed with your overly sexy man of the moment, we call him 'The Amazingly Sexy Man Who's Extremely Sleezy And Your Friends Just Can't Resist', whether he be a calvin klein underwear model or just an ordinary hottie. That one friend who always, no matter how amazing or how dull the person you fancy is the friend will always decide they fancy them too. This kind of friend is an extreme pain in the ass, although in my case, I love mine dearly..  And as lucky as i am i get to have a few of these amazing kind of friends. Which is great seeing as we all love a little bitch fight over a fling every once in a while.

Not only do these types of friends do this to one of their friends, they are kind enough to share their jealousy and do this to many of their friends. If you are one of these people i suggest you don't do what i am about to share happened in a scenario once upon a time, because you will lose everything.. Just to put things in the kindest way possible.

So back to the sexy underwear model, who might I add was mighty fine.. This charming flirt was infatuated by the ditzy young girl who was drooling at his feet. Though as the story goes when this man of the moment came time to meet the bestfriend there was a bit of conflict.. Well, a bit to say the least. The ending result of jealousy and trying to outflirt your bestfriend to impress her boyfriend never goes down well..especially with flirting techniques such as an awkward pout. Friendships get ruined.. Although in my case, they were rebuilt after a few years of a gap.

But to all the lovely ladies like this, stop being a whore, your friends will appreciate it. And to the extremely sexy sleeze buckets, although you are amazing and will always be just a sleeze, you're lucky because we all can't help but love you.. Better hope you stay toned, otherwise you're screwed.

Lots Of Love,
           Pretty Little Bitch Girl
                                   xx

The Psychotic Ex.

So we all have that one Ex that just refuses to let go and move on. The one that thinks the sun really does shine from your ass. The one that hangs around only managing to irritate you and make situations for themselves worse in relation to new partners. Yes, we all have one of them, or possibly you may have more.. if you could ever be that lucky.

 These Ex's are like a disease. A disease you wish you listened to your beloved friend’s advice and purchased that $8.50 bottle of bug repellent and liberally used it before pursuing your relationship with the infected bug.

The 'Clingy' stage. This may be one of the most irritating traits a person can have. If you think it is cute or sweet, I must bluntly tell you that you are wrong! This type of personality behaviorism is quite literally a major turn off. I once knew of a young man to be so clingy that he got to the stage to follow his miss' to the bathroom of her own house only to wait outside the door. I am yet to find out why the young man felt this necessary, perhaps he thought the bathroom window was large enough for her escape from his intense clinginess.. unfortunately it was not. So I suggest if your young gentleman does this, run for the hills where ever this may be, you can climb out your extremely small bathroom window or to hide in the dog’s house until he has left. Either way I suggest you pack up and take your beautiful shades of lippy home from his house, change streets, phone numbers, possibly get a face transplant, and continue on life without the leach before he continues to suck the life out of you.

The 'I Will Tell All Your Friends How Much I Am Still In Love With You' stage. This stage, although doesn't bother the one being admired, I do feel quite sympathetic for their outstanding friends who get to sit around and hear about their amazingness, incredible laugh, smile, the way they flick their hair, the way they sneeze, every little detail that nobody really gives a crap about. If you are currently listening to one of your darling friends' psycho Ex's tell you about how amazing they are please remind them you know and so does their new partner, regardless of if they have one or not.

Lots Of Love,

          Pretty Little Bitch Girl

                                xx