I'm not yours.

There are these 'types' of people around us who.. in my words.. are annoyingly possessive, controlling, subliminaly trying to destroy good things that you have(with their constant in your face approach or stupid suggestions), and think that you are 'theirs', guilt you, and all sorts of stuff like this.

These people are wrong, we are not yours! and in fact if you want even a smidgen of me, i advise you to back off.. because sweetheart, soon i wont just not be 'yours', i wont be your anything. You are smothering me, you are holding the pillow over my head so that i can't breath.. and we all know loss of oxygen results in death.

But don't get me wrong. I LOVE YOU TO DEATH, you're just rushing things into the wrong direction at a high speed pace. But the thing is, no matter how i try to show you or tell you this, you don't want to take it on board, you listen but you don't hear what i am saying.
                            And what i am saying is don't ruin what we have. Because i like us.

Although if you are trying to ruin us and what we have, congratulations. You're doing an amazing job.

I will never be the 'property' of you. Please try and remember that, trust me it will do us both good. I am my property and that is final. You don't get a say!

So.. i sound harsh so i will remind you, I LOVE YOU!!!! i just don't want to love you when you're making us like this. We don't know what will happen in a month from now, 2 months or even 6 years. What i do know is i want nothing more than you to be apart of my life. So please stop jeopradising that possibility.

And this, it could be anyone in your life, a boyfriend/girlfriend, family member, friend, anyone. And by saying this it may not mean it's the most likely candidate who will be the one to do this. But for your sake i hope you don't have a person who is like this at the moment, because it would suck to be you if you did.

Lots Of Love,
Pretty Little Bitch Girl
xx

I love you, dont I?

Do you actually love the ones who love you, or do you love them because they love you?
Do you love the ones you're ment to because they are amazing or because you have to put up with them?
Do you love beacuse you want to be loved or because you love them regardless if they love you as you can see their beauty, inner and out and perceive them as 'perfet'?
Do we love because we are ment to or because we genuinely love?

Can you love someone without actually liking their 'person'? I know people who are like this and believe that you can. But i think they are wrong. I think if you love someone but don't like them, the truth is you just don't want to be alone so you settle with whatever is easiest and has the least effort and possibilities of heartache, and in your own twisted way make yourself believe it is love not just desperation.

Is love real? Or is it what we have made it with our guidlines of what love actually is? Possibly we have told ourselves what love is and should be like rather than allow it to be whatever it is, come in different forms, shapes and sizes rather than be a constricted box that everything outside simply is not good enough to be classified as 'love' heedless of if it is or isn't.
Has our generalisation in a discription of how love is ruined it for some people, some circumstances?

Lots Of Love,
Pretty Little Bitch Girl
xx

The silly questioning thoughts.

So recently my head has been full of silly questions that i cannot seem to answer.. so, i shall share them :)

How do you know if you are happy? But how do you know if you are not? I mean people smile and seem happy even when they're not, right. And people look upset and miserable when also perhaps they are just distracted by something, not necessarily unhappiness.

Do statistics of other peoples efforts really mean anything? I have a friend who recently has had a lot to say about the enormous possibility of relationship failure. Apparently the stats are 98% of young relationships fail and ONLY 2% are the happily ever after fairytales we all want. Does this mean because the majority of people and relationships fall into the 98% i will? Or could i be the exception despite the odds?

When somebody says forever do they mean 'for ever' or 'for ever at the moment'. How can you possibly tell. How does someone know what they will want in 2 months from now, 5 years from now, let alone in atleast 25 years from now. Although possibly because i am extremely hipocritical at this very moment about this topic i believe i know what i want.. But still, how on earth does anybody else!? I mean forever is a long time, how can someone possibly know what they will want. So really does forever mean 'for ever' or 'for ever at the moment'? This doesn't even have to do with anything in particular it could be...
         - pink will be my favourite colour forever.
         - i will love you forever
         - i want to be with you forever
         - i want pizza once a month forever
See nothing serious or something serious, how does anyone really know? I'm sure i don't really know i only think i do (though I'm pretty incredibly certain!!). But how do you actually know? And because no one really does know what they will want for ever, can you make promises or plans if at one stage your 'for ever' could go back to have ment 'for ever from that moment earlier in time'.

Do people ever actually get their dream house, job, husband or wife, children, financial status.. does it ever actually happen? Or do your standards, dreams and desires change to accomodate what you can actually get? How long do you have to wait to get what you really want?..Because the time waiting feels like a lifetime. Regardless of what you are waiting for at the current moment.

Though enough rambling.. As i am an expert and could go on for days.

Lots Of Love,
Pretty Little Bitch Girl
xx

Relationship vs 'Sex-ationship'

What is better the relationship with everything or the 'sex-ationship' with just the casual rooting around, no strings attached?

A 'sex-ationship' well sounds good in theory. Not having to pretend you care if you don't, not needing to spend your time together, no meeting family or friends and playing nice, no dates, just sex, with the only rule being 'No strings attached'. Yet don't we all know 'no strings attached' means we will pretend that there is no feeling, but at least one of us will most likely be hurt at one stage when they confuse or mix their emotions with plain emotionless sex.

And then there is the relationship. The spending quality time together, going on dates, meeting families, actually caring, being there for the plain out shit times but also there for the good. Plus of course, the sex is there aswell just with meaning and emotion behind it.

Which is better? I much prefer the relationship, though i'm sure not everyone is on the same side as me.

But here is my actual question and thought..
If you can have a relationship without sex can you have sex without a relationship?

Though who said anything about a relationship without sex anyhow..

Lots Of Love,
Pretty Little Bitch Girl
xx

The L Word.

The L word, the scary, meaningful, big word that means so much yet is only four letters long.

So last Tuesday my boyfriend took that step of a relationship and said the L word. This to me was enormous. It means despite that i thought he did i now actually know he does, he loves me. And that is the most amazingly happy, greatful and gorgeous feeling in the entire world.

The moment the words leave his lips everytime he tells me my heart is instantly filled with happiness.

This guy is the one i want to be with forever, and i am the one he wants. There is nothing that could be more perfect. Because i love him back at the moment and as each day passes i only love him more.

But here's the thing to watch out for.. (though i know this is not my case at the moment, i will just explain it to you for your benefit) the ones who say they love you because really they do love you, they love the fact that when they say those three prescious words you're theirs you drop to the ground in happiness, you sleep with them because hey, why not, they love you. These people i have had too much contact with, yet really i haven't had that much. But even being told your loved once when really your not is once too many.

Then there are the other types of love and people that i completely cannot understand. They are the ones who love you, and generally do but still want other people so hurt you and then think that once they realise its better to be with the one they love instead of love them but be with many others they want you back. But when you realise being with someone because they love you in their own messed up way is not what you want or deserve is no way to live when you could easily be with the someone who loves you and treats you right the person gets hurt, begs for you back, tells you all about how you're breaking their heart and as you continue not going back to the disfunctional love relationship because, who ever you are, you are better than that, the person decides they no longer love you, they hate you. Instantly their love is hate. How is it possibly for one to love you one minute and hate you the next? My personal opinion is it's not. They may love you but it's twisted and not how you deserve to be loved. These people are ass' if you go back to them then believe me you are a fool!

Now that my charming speel is done, i only have one more thing to say.

I am so glad i am not in a twisted disfunctional messed relationship, mine is perfect. And i love my boyfriend unonditionally no matter what, to me he is perfect. And that is what i think love is.

Lots Of Love,
Pretty Little Bitch Girl
xx 

The Good, The Bad, And Everything In Between..

I live in a tiny little town in a beautiful paradise, It has many reasons that make me never want to leave but many that make me want to escape.

Three weeks ago i wanted to leave. The small town crap of rumors, judgement and no privacy within your own life finally caught up to me. This is the bad. And there is no escape from it. The moment you realise in yourself that other people whom aren't important in your life don't matter and their shit that they bring into your life is just petty nonesence, and if you just brush it off like a leaf that has fallen on a chair you will be ok but if you let it bother you you will never be happy. Though this is way harder than it sounds. I still have many moments of mini breakdowns every few months or so because of the crap a small town paradise brings. Though my hatered only lasts a day or two and then i see it for its delight, like i do now and most of the time.

And this week it's my gorgeous boyfriends time of hate towards this small towns sillyness.

But the good is oh so good. It's beautiful here everyday. I have climatised that when it gets down to mid 20s i am cold and get out my cardi and doona..pathetic i know. The beach is across the road from my house, this is amazing. I will never be able to live away from the beach, it is too incredible and to me living near the beach is home, wherever i may be. The people (generally) are friendly, because you don't want to get off on the wrong side in a small town where everyone knows everyone and everything.

I don't know how long i want to stay here, I know i don't want to leave just yet. Though i will if it's whats needed for my boyfriend but i really hope that it's not.

This place may be shit and not what i want sometimes but regardless of that it is everything I want in my paradise i currently call home.

So my advice to you all, small towns aren't as bad as you think. Give them a shot, i did dispite my fear and hatered of them i quickly found it for its beauty.. I guess it's kinda like people. If you put down your armor and stop thinking what you know you may find out what you actually want, need and like. And this may be your blessing in disguise.

Lots Of Love,
Pretty Little Bitch Girl
xx 

Happy Wife, Happy Life,

The things i really don't understand that this so called male race do as lifestlye normalities..

I mean do you really need to leave the toilet seat up all the time? Yes we get it, you can stand. But you don't need to constantly remind us of this everytime we enter the bathroom and are faced with the upright toilet seat. Work your arm muscles just that tiny bit and flick the lid down every once in a while.

Is it a necessity that you leave all your clothes on the floor regardless if they are clean or not so that they all have to be re-washed because you also left your wet smelly shower towl with them..I know you love mold and the grossness of it all, but really for the ones who do all your washing it isn't as charming as you think.

Are you positive you don't just want to romantically watch the notebook or movies as such with me? Are you really sure?? Because i'm sure if you put down your "I'm not watching that crap" act you would actually enjoy it, well..at least a little bit.

Roses are nice by the way, just adding that in there in case you all forgot.

Do boys nights always have to have some form of drama. You all think the girls have drama, but spending the night bitching about crap isn't drama in comparisson to getting faces smashed in, dissapointing people or almost sleeping with the married cougars.

Oh hey, yes you should have your fourth cup of coffee out of a different cup. What a brilliant idea! But if you decide to spice it up a bit and use only one cup and wash it in between instead of leaving it for your adoring other half to wash you could bring all your empty water bottles and fill them back up and pack into the fridge so once again the household can have water.. But of course don't do it all at once, you wouldn't want to kill us of culture shock now would you.

Before i forget, I'll just share a valuable secret with you all..
The bath mat is neatly spread out infront of the shower/bath for a reason! So if you drench it with water the way to make it back to normal is to hang it out and pick it up off its scrunched up pile on the floor. Though it will remain a mystery how it got like that after only standing on it...

But all in all, although you are an extremely strange bunch. I wouldn't want it any other way.. most of the time.

But I'm sure it couldn't hurt to give one of these a try every once in a while.. As my uncle always says, happy wife, happy life. And i'm sure for a happy wife he must throw one of these ideas in the air on the odd special occasion.

Lots Of Love,
Pretty Little Bitch Girl
xx