Soul Crusher.

How are you supposed to tell someone you love to stop lying and make things right when you know they've been lying for years and all of a sudden it all makes sense.
How are you supposed to let them know they have the heart and soul of another in the palm of their hands and all that has to be done is let a piece of the string unfold and that person will be crushed for life.
How are you supposed to tell them to make it right when they are in so deep that the 'right' will still hurt someone's heart in unimaginable ways.

What are you supposed to do when you know it's all going to explode and nothing will be able to make it right.
How are you supposed to protect someone and protect yourself at the same time.

How are you meant to do anything? what are you meant to do?

How are you supposed to sit back and do nothing from a different state knowing that this christmas could unravel one of your biggest lies and leave someone i never want to see hurt in complete agony.

I wish i could expose you as the lying piece of filth that you are, although at the same time i love you and long for your care, love and exception of me. And this although i want and need it more than anything sickens me that you have this much imput into my emotions and my being.

I want to be able to hurt your emotions, make you feel like dirt and something that is a burdon on my life like you make us feel. I want you to hate yourself because you're not excepted by the ones that are meant to love you. I want you to be lied to and locked out of our life like you lock us out. I want you to feel the pain that you make us feel when you pile on another one of your lies, just so we can find out once again that you're a disgrace.

I love you but i hate you even more for the pain you cause the ones i love. I know your secrets and betrayals because i've learnt through mistake after mistake that when you pretend to care it's only to fool us into believing your next lie. And congratulations once again it worked, not on me but on the person it will hurt the most, as i've learnt how to hide the pain and not care but this other person has not. I've always been there to shelter them but this time i can't be, and it's killing me.

Sometimes i wonder what happened to you to make you so bitter, who hurt you so much that you don't know how to love but most of the time i pitty you because in the end you'll have no one. Of course we will always be around, we just wont care as much. And that will be when you need it the most after it's all run out and there is none left.

I hope you read this, because you'll know exactly what lie i just uncovered and you will hate yourself.

Lots Of Love,
Pretty Little Bitch Girl
xx 

My morning, Your night.

So a rant about me..

My boyfriend works on the mines, so he is not here all the time. This means for half of his shift that he is away i say good morning he says good night. It means i don't get to talk to him when i want to as he is tired from working and therefore asleep, working or i am asleep or working. It means i'm alone when he is away, not literally as i have my amazing friends around yet i still feel alone. All in all it kinda sucks.

Yet when he is away i realise how much i appreciate and care for him, which makes it all that better when he gets back.

But really, i don't even know how to explain how i miss him when he is gone or how truly happy i am when he is home.

Anyhow, I've had enough of a rant about me, my message to leave you with is.. When you find someone who makes you happy at the sight or thought of them, someone who is the first and last thing you think about each day, someone who you wouldn't want to be without, someone who means more to you than anything else, keep them. Don't let them go.

Lots Of Love,
      Pretty Little Bitch Girl
                        xx 

That hurtful person.

There's always one person who hurts you continuously, whether it be a lover, family member or friend, it's a person who although puts you through tears, pain, lonesom, self-hatred and many more of these lovely emotions and stages you love regardless with a neverending supply of it.

It's a person you want to love you, so you try everything. Try to impress them with knowledge, experiences, everything you possibly can show off to them to make them appreciate you and love you in the way you want.

This person can be the harshest person in the world to you and destroy parts of you, yet all you still want is them to care.

I have a person in my life like this, and let me say although at times i hated them, wished they weren't in my life and that i never knew them amoungst it all i secretly wanted nothing but them to care and cherish me the way i'd hoped, wanted and possibly needed.

So to all you bastard people who without realising you are crushing someone, either a little girls heart, a partner, sibling or friend, wake up, see what you are doing and change it before it's too late and you regret how your relationship between the other person has become.

Luckily for me my person woke up after a wake up call that was life changing to them as they realised what they had let go and had to fight to get back in their life.

So really, make sure your person you seek love and care from is worth it, and in the end i hope for you all they find you worth it to.

Lots Of Love,
      Pretty Little Bitch Girl
                        xx

Lust with a Loser.

This little read will tell you all about that one special person who you think is the one..until you realise they really aren't and you see your friends judgements of them becoming true, whether the judgements be they are a piece of shit or just a general low life asshole.

The one who you totally fell lustful for, the one who despite the way they treated you you thought they were amazingly nice and kind...even though this in reality wasn't the case. The one you made excusses in your mind for, excusses to your friends and even excusses to yourself. These excusses are the types that go along the lines of...
                     'It's how he shows he cares.'
                     'He didn't mean it.'
                     'I love him so it doesn't matter.'
                     'But i know he loves me.'
                    'He's not always like this, it's just the moment.'

If you say excusses like this to anyone, including yourself, you are wasting your time on a prick!! Stop your stupid lustful desires and get over the moron!

But here is the hard thing.. You really do think you care for them, until they do that one thing that makes you realise you don't. It makes you realise you don't deserve what they give. The problem with this is it could be a month into your relationship, 6 months, a year or even longer.

A way of seeing that really they are not the best idea for you is, for example when the song 'mean' by Taylor Swift is played it reminds you of them (even when you're still together)! If you have something like this, although it is amusing the jokes you make to your friends about having such a type of song like this to remind you of your loser whom you lust/lusted..it really should be a sign that its not right.

I'm not saying that it's all bad, cos a lot of it is nice, fun and what you want at the time.. It's only once you leave it or get hurt that badly that you realise you didn't want it at all.

But in my case, i was lucky. I left my lust with a loser and now have something much much better.  <3  :)

Lots Of Love,
      Pretty Little Bitch Girl
                        xx